EXCUSE LETTERS

These are excuse notes from parents (including
original spelling) collected by schools from all
over the country.

1. My son is under a doctors care and should not
take P.E. today. Please execute him.
(Hala! Sige. Silya elektrika at bitay. Sabay pa!)

2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was
sick and I had her shot.
(Pag nag-absent pala papatayin ka...siyet! Baka may rabies...)

3. Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent
on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
(Aba grabe Ito. Nasa kalendaryo pa ang birthday ko kung
ganon. Hahaha!)

4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
(Ano daw???? )

5. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days.
Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
(Hanapin natin!)

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth
taken out of his face. (Bwehehehe...la ako masabi.)

7. Megan could not come to school today because
she has been bothered by very close veins.
(Buti pa veins niya, close sila. Hahahaha!!!)

8. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre
in his side.

9. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has
very loose vowels. (Aah.....eh....i.....ow....u....)

10. Please excuse Pedro from being absent
yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the
shits. [words in ()s were crossed out.]
(Sinabi na kasi LBM na lang e. Pasosyal pa kasi.)

11. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed
his bust. (So transsexual pala si Irving?)

12. I kept Billie home because she had to go
Christmas shopping because I dont know what size she wear.

13. Sally wont be in school a week from Friday. We
have to attend her funeral.
(Ala eh! Mabuhay ang Patay!! Mayroong Himala!!!)

14. Please excuse Jason for being absent
yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
(Stud service ba yung school nya? Baka gremlin siya.)

15. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having
a gangover.
(Ay grabe! Iba na talaga ang mga kabataan ngayon. Hahaha!)

16. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasnt the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
(Hahaha, telenovela...bow. makuwento siya ha... Kulang lang sa
pansin siguro...)

17. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
(Winner Ito!!!!!!!!!! Ang galing!!!! Puwede rin kaya sa office ito?